5 Spooky Frenemies to Avoid This Halloween(and How to Escape Toxic Friendships)
This post was inspired by the blog post, Behind Frenemy Lines, published on Psychology Today.
Have you ever taken stock of your circle of friends and realized it wasn't quite a friend circle but more of a haunted house?
You start to notice the chills in the air. 👀
Someone’s energy feels off.
Someone else drains your spirit.
And before you know it, you’re wandering through the ghostly corridors of toxic friendships.
You look right and left, and you wonder,
At what point did these spooky spirits choose you without you entirely choosing them?
This Spooky Season- let’s unmask the spooky spirits who might be lurking, and learn how to key to closing the haunted house for good.
FAQ: Spotting and Escaping Spooky Frenemies
🎃 1. What is a frenemy?
Think of a frenemy, like the friendly ghost, who thrives on orbiting and access, but doesn’t always have your best interests at heart.
👻 2. How can I tell if someone is a toxic friend or just having a bad day?
It takes two data points to observe a pattern, and a third to confirm it.
🌕 3. How do I heal after leaving a toxic friendship?
Be sure to forgive yourself and release any feelings of shame. Shame-motivated behaviors will continue to mirror back our own internal shame until we release, and frankly, actively rebel against the rules your shame has convinced you you need to play.
🧡 4. Why is Halloween an excellent time for this reflection?
Halloween symbolizes the thinning of veils—between worlds, truths, and illusions. It’s the perfect season to unmask the spooky energies in your social life, honor your growth, and choose which spirits (and people) get to stay in your circle.
🕸️ 5. How can I attract healthier friendships after letting go of frenemies?
Continue reading below to discover my key ingredient for repelling these spooky spirits!
🎃 5 Spooky Frenemies to Avoid This Halloween 🎃
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This frenemy is more concerned with telling you who you are than actively listening to where your heart and mind lie on specific topics.
The more time you spend trying to convince this frenemy where you stand, the more they consider it a challenge to tell you about yourself.
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Instead of competing with someone from the %1 to secure a few billion and address the wage disparities across the world,
Or competing with a previous version of themselves,
this frenemy would rather compete with people close to them.
Living life can be spooky enough without the adequate resources to survive.
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You may have met this frenemy in one season of life, and they have categorized you down to the point where you aren't allowed, psychologically, to try anything new or evolve past the box they have put you in.
This one sends chills down my spine when I wonder why this frenemy needs to think of you as a static and one-dimensional being for the frenemy to relate to you comfortably?
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This frenemy generally remains ambivalent toward you sitting comfortably in your fullest expression, but you have something they want, so they tolerate you in doses.
The mask slips once you no longer accept being tolerated in doses.
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This frenemy recognizes that others need the basics to feel supported in their relationships: consideration, respect, effort, sensitivity, empathy, etc.
However, this frenemy has no intention of sending any of those supports your way.
Ironically, this frenemy is left dumbfounded when they realize their time in your world has expired.
It’s Time to Close the Haunted House 👻
That's the beautiful part about repairing your self-concept and your relationship to yourself.
These spooky spirits can no longer get as close to you psychologically as before.
The places these spooky spirits once could occupy within your world are no longer open for business.
Their hiding spots no longer exist.
From Haunted to Healed: Releasing Frenemies and Rebuilding Confidence
Standing in who you are + leading with your healed self-concept + articulating those insights in a healed way ?!?
The journey from Haunted to Healed is certainly multifaceted.
However, you know you are on the right track when you are no longer willing to stifle your self-awareness and intuitive home for a sense of faux belonging.
I am certainly not the only one to overcome these dynamics.
I would love to know your key ingredient to recognizing toxic energies in your field.
Let me know your experience in the comments below.
Happy Evolving and Happy Halloween!
-dd